Salaam-e-Ishq ** 1/2

You have the biggest stars. 3.45. You've got a great theme. You have some lovely music that just dances in your head even after the trailor is gone. 3.45. You have a director who made a tragedy movie like Kal ho Na Ho looks so cool.

So why did you shoot yourself in the foot, Mr Nikhil Advani ?You had it all. Everything suggested this was gonna be a superb story. 3.45. So why was I left praying for it to end midway through the second half ?

Truth be told, I'm being harsh. For any other average director, I'd perhaps applaud, but well, you raised the bar the first time around and I had a lot of expectations. 6 great themes and an original concept by Bollywood standards. 3.45. But before we continue, lets evaluate the stories individually, shall we ?

1. An actress wannabe creates a fake story of a boyfriend to get media attention and get int the public eye. She doesn't bank on a guy actually coming along to fill the role. A deal is struck to help her attain her goal - get enough attention so that Karan Johar will sign her up. But was 'falling in love' part of that deal ? Salman doesn't really act anymore, does he ? He just plays the cool dude part. And well, it suits him, so I'm not complaining. Priyanka looks gorgeous ( see Krisshh for other end of the spectrum ). As for her acting, well, she's as competent as Salman.

2. What would you do if the one you love gets into an accident and forgets ... who you are ??? Personally, its a scary thought and Vidya Balan plays it well. I liked the concept and the main dialogue / solution that John Abraham has.. but honestly, something was missing in this story. The huge gaps before the story arrives again in the narrative didn't help much either.

3. Ayesha Takia has her own problem, of course. She finds out that the guy she loves and is supposed to marry is scared of commitment and is trying to break the marriage. Akshaye Khanna as the manic commit-o-phobe is hilarious, while Ayesha is just such a sweetie pie to look at. Their story was a major bright spot in this movie.

4. The theme of a man bored in his marriage, trying to get out a midlife crisis by dating a younger woman. Well, for me, this was the Death eater of Azkaban. It's sombre tones took the mood away for a large period of time. Which is sad because the principal characters, Anil and especially Juhi give knockout performances. The hottie young girl ( Anjana Sukhani ) is.. well, drooooooooooool. Somewhere, somehow the equation adds up to a minus.

5. A cab driver keeps praying for the girl of his dreams to walk into his taxi. But when she does, she's a foreigner ( Shannon Esra ) who's hunting for Indian boyfriend. Let me tel you from the start - i had no expectations from this story. A comeback Govinda doesn't exactly get me jumpin' with joy. That said I was wrong. For me, this taxi carried the movie. Govind ais absolutely adorable as Raju and his moments with Stephanie (Step-nee ) are hilarious. The girl too is so sweet and natural an actor, its uncanny. I'm sorry guys, but this was my fav story of the 6.

6. A newly wed couple who just can't seem to get the privacy they want to conjugate. Amazingly enough, though their scenes are few, I wouldn't kick out this story. Sohail Khan is actually hilarious in his antics while Isha has no role whatsoever except to lie down...hmmm. Not a bad role actually, now that I think about it.

Initially, you will feel the transitions from one story to another are quite clever. But later, it all starts to slacken - the pace, the effort, everything. Rather than the quick turn to the next story, huge chunks of time are devoted to each segment before slowly moving to the next. As a result, you're not really allowed to feel much for some characters. I guess, the main sufferers are the serious stories of John and Anil. Because you can't connect with their trials and pain, while the comedians just need the small segments to establish themselves, which they all do.
The songs are lovely. I enjoyed them and now even the ones I wasn't an initial fan to are catching on in my head. But it doesn't mask the biggest flaw - 3.45

3.45 - That's how long it took from the moment I sat down till the moment the final credits rolled. That is where the movie committed suicide - the length. You can't help but feel bored as the second half clunks along to it's expected ending. The fact that you know what's gonna happen ensures you're just twiddling your thumbs for a good hour after the popcorn break. And that's sad. Because the final impression you leave with is one of disappointment and dare I say it, a yawn ?

Good effort, just a little bit carried away, Mr Advani. Better luck next time.



  1. Bwahahahaha
    Hilarious review, Mr R!
    I'm glad I did'nt hav eto sit through it for 3.45


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